Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Compliments in the strangest places

Working with someone new, who seems like a nice enough guy.  On the way to lunch, out of nowhere, the following occurs:

Colleague: Have you read any of Alison Bechdel's work?
Me: (stunned) Um, yeah..?
C: You look like her.
M: Really? (I can't refuse a well placed compliment, even though being a lean short haired dyke with glasses doesn't make me as good looking as she is).  
C: Yes.  Have you read her work?
M: Um, yeah.  I liked her last graphic novel...  Have you read her stuff?
C: Oh yes! I loved 'Fun Home'.  It was...

He proceeded to wax lyrical about 'Fun Home' and we spend the rest of the day talking about it and other books. A couple of days later we ended up at a comic book store where I bought (political) graphic novels under his guidance.  Turns out he loves the genre (I have really only read Bechdel's work and some of the Maus series) - and his enthusiasm was contagious.  

What I loved was that he compared me to a intelligent (butch?) dyke who he knew and respected.  It wasn't one of those weird "I like The Ellen Show so I am ok with lesbians" conversations. It was about common ground and it wasn't straight common ground.  It was dyke territory.  And I'm so nice when people are on my turf.

Ok, so I admit it.  I am totally susceptible to flattery.  So sue me.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Travel

There has been a break in blogging due to travel.  Admittedly, I went to the USA where they have the internet, but I was also working so didn't get a chance to come back to this corner of the web.

I was a little tentative about my journey, mainly due to both US and Australian security who generally make getting onto a plane more stressful that it already is (21 hours in transit is no picnic).  However, I got off lightly.  Only once was I frisked and even though a few people got pronouns confused, it didn't cause me to be scrutinised and analysed and generally held up.  Even those creepy scanners were fine, as was the retina and fingerprinting at US customs (really, you need all that?).

Suffice to say I arrived in all destinations safe and sound and even in travelling round, gender was not a big deal. Sure, I was in a major US city, but I still thought there might be tangles.  However, the less I freaked out, the less others did.   But when I was called sir I went with it, and if/when they corrected themselves I brushed it off.  It's easier to be self contained away from home, and much easier to be carefree with others perceptions of you. Here I am with friends/colleagues/etc when gender confusion strikes, so I need to take other people into account, and what they think and feel.  Maybe I'm saying travel can allow you to be selfish?  Or maybe it's just about the ability to reinvent yourself.